In Emoji Land...I'm a Big Drunk.

For all you man-friends out there...Warning. I don't mean to scare you off, but his is a talk about feelings.

I know I've already done the Motherhood post before, and then again, and then even again. However, I have six kids. Four All of which I passed through my body without any medication. I am therefor entitled to a rant post.

I didn't want to do a rant post.

Negative. Sad. Very NOT entertaining.

So I decided to place myself over the washing machine...and cry. Then I prayed. Then I texted my BFF.

"This Motherhood business is for the birds. I'm so done." Martini Emoji. Send.

I'm Mormon and I don't partake of the alcohol.

Except in emoji-land. That's where I'm a big fat drunk.

Then I-somewhat-came to my senses and read some scriptures.

I felt a little bit better.

Then I came off of said washing machine to my children. I won't mention the things that they have been putting me through, because every mom knows that story. 

As I was driving home tonight with fighting children in the backseat, I was pulled over. Of course I was yelling at my children to stop fighting at the time, but that is hardly illegal. Frustrated and on the very edge of my sanity, I suddenly felt a sliver of hope.

Maybe he'll arrest me.

Maybe Officer Relief would cuff me and haul me away where I could get eight hours of sleep. I could wash my hair, get three square meals a day that I didn't have to cook or clean up.

I could read a book, and possibly even make a weird twisted friend! Oh the possibilities!

Unfortunately a burned out light bulb over your license plate isn't illegal enough to be arrested. It just adds to your to-do list.

I hear from people all the time, "Oh, enjoy it now! They will be raised soon and you will miss the noise."

Half of me thinks that is true. I will miss it. I will be sad. I will want this frustrating time back.

The other half of me envisions throat-punching them.

Kudos to you Moms out there. I think your amazing.

Special kudos to you working Moms out there that don't stop working after the 8 10 hour shift is done. You a special sort of amazing.

I was going to post a funny mom ecard...but I'm too lazy. Just go here for a smile.