I Saw Karma & It Was Amazing!

Oh Karma! Sometimes my best friend, other times my worst enemy.

You know the worst thing about Karma?

Is when it comes back to bite me in the big ol' Booty...Yes. This has happened multiple occasions. Let's not talk about that.

The second worst thing about Karma is making comments like, 'Oh you know Karma's coming their way!" or "Karma is going to bite them in the you-know-what-A!" and you never get to witness it's extremely satisfying results on the deserved individual.

But when you get to witness it... It's amazing! And of course, it has to be documented.

kar·ma

ˈkärmə/

noun

1. (in Hinduism and Buddhism) the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.

   • informal

     destiny or fate, following as effect from cause.

   
   

The story starts with a tall amazing man that I refer to as Mr. Molly Mormon. Yes, he hates that name but I still use it. Then we can have conversations like this:

Him: "Why are you still calling me Mr. Molly Mormon on your blog?"

Me: "You mean, you read my blog?"

Him: "Yes, as do my co-workers."

Then it's gets awkward and I apologetically tell him that I will never do that again.

This is me never doing that again.

So Mr. Molly Mormon surprises me with this text a week or so ago. It has the following picture and comment.

Hey Woman! What do you think of this one? 

wom·an

ˈwo͝omən/

noun

1. • a wife, girlfriend, or lover. Term or endearment, not a misogynistic overtone. 

     "he loved his wife and so grateful for that woman"

I saw this text and I was in love! With Mr. Molly Mormon  and the shiny new car.

But mostly the shiny new car!

It had more bling than I had ever seen! Suddenly excitement took in! My husband was car shopping and this was perfect! Leather, shine, rims, Navigation and Bluetooth, all the perks I love!

And all the things I usually pass over for the needs of my children.

Those sweet little freeloaders.

Oh and the ability to seat eight of us. That's important. Actually, in my house, a requirement. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find an eight passenger vehicle?  Of anything?

I am one child away from the Dugger-sized 20 passenger family wagon.

That. Is. Scary.

So, needless (and needful) to say, this vehicle made my day!

I don't know that I ever mentioned that Mr. Molly Mormon works at a car lot. I don't even need to be there to car shop. He sees something come in and can in all reality, just drive it home after a signature or two and it's ours.

Which is exactly what he planned with this new Navigator! I was so excited and so in love with the hubs. More in love with the car, or course.

Wait...I already said that.

So, just this last week, he texts me at work and tells me to come drive the Navigator just so I'm sure.

Oh, I'm sure! But why not?! I totally ditched finished my employment responsibilities, left the office and headed to hug my Navigator husband.

Just as I'm a block away from work, and the Husband calls me and tells me the worst news I've ever heard in my entire life.

Okay, not entire life...but close.

"Never mind." Oh, I know this voice. He. Is. Mad. "Another sales guy heard that we wanted it and called his client to come get it first."

You know how there is always that one guy you work with that lives on the shady part of town? You know, the one that you just know there is some stuff in that dudes closet...

Not my work, of course. No. Certainly. Not. Ever.

But at Mr. Molly Mormon's work? Yep. He's the short chubby dude with a skip in his step.

He knew I was on the way for my husband to do one of the most awesome husband of the year things...buy me a seriously blingy SUV that will carry all my freeloaders...and he totally sold it out from underneath us.

Molly Mormon wanted to throat-punch him.

I didn't want to totally kill him. I mean, he wasn't worth prison time, but I totally would do a three day stint in county for it.

That was before I saw the husbands anger. Then I realized I needed to be the calm one.

Okay, out of the two of us...that never happens!

It got worse with Shady Sales Dude tells Jeremy, "Sorry to take it from your wife, but I gotta make money."

Yeah. That's right. His two kids are totally more expensive than our six. In fact, I remember how when I had only two kids...I totally would say to myself I can't wait until I have six kids. This is going to get SO much easier!

I kept telling my husband, "It's okay. I know you wanted to do this real cool thing for your wife, but guys like this get what's coming to them. Karma's coming for this dude!"

I didn't know it would be in five minutes.

As we are walking out to go, Chubby Short Skippy Dude is moving the Navigator for his client. I don't know what he was doing exactly and was caught completely by surprise when he reversed MY Navigator into another $35,000 vehicle.

Big scratches. Big Dents. Navigator now with a wrecked title. No commission for said Skippy. Big Karma!

I Love My Life!

I got to witness Karma in it's finest! I was lucky enough to watch it happen.

I would like to take a moment of silence for my Navigator. It truly was the victim in the story.